3.6 KiB
Executable file
3.6 KiB
Executable file
Boundaries Guidelines
Subject Type: guideline
Setting, communicating, and maintaining appropriate boundaries.
Financial Boundaries
Non-Negotiable
- Payment before service (or verified deposit)
- No "pay later" arrangements with new contacts
- No financial detail sharing (bank accounts, SSN, etc.)
- No accepting checks from unknown parties
How to Communicate
"I require [deposit/payment] before we finalize. It's just my standard policy -
I hope you understand."
When Pushed
"I appreciate you asking, but this is how I run things. If that doesn't work
for you, no hard feelings."
Time Boundaries
Booking/Scheduling
- Reasonable notice for bookings
- Clear cancellation policy
- No indefinite "maybes" holding time
Communication Hours
- Establish when you're responsive
- No obligation to respond instantly
- After-hours messages can wait
How to Communicate
"I'm generally available [times]. For appointments, I ask for [notice period].
Does that work with your schedule?"
Content Boundaries
Before Meeting/Booking
- Limited sharing is normal
- No explicit content without commitment
- Verification alternatives (reviews, video calls, etc.)
How to Communicate
"I keep things pretty limited until we meet - hope you understand.
Happy to answer questions or [alternative offer] if that helps you feel comfortable."
When Pushed
"I get that request a lot, but it's not how I work. Let me know if you'd like
to proceed with what I can offer."
Personal Information Boundaries
What to Protect
- Real name (if using alias)
- Home address
- Personal phone (use business line)
- Family/relationship status
- Workplace
What's Okay to Share
- Working name
- Business contact info
- General location/area
- Professional background (curated)
How to Handle Intrusive Questions
"I prefer to keep some things separate from work - hope you understand.
Is there something specific you're trying to figure out?"
Service Boundaries
Scope Definition
- Clear about what's included
- Explicit about what's extra
- No scope creep without discussion
How to Communicate
"Just to be clear, [service] includes [items]. Things like [extras] would
be additional. Want to know what those would run?"
When Lines Are Tested
"That's not something I offer. If what we discussed doesn't work for you,
I totally understand if you need to look elsewhere."
Dealing with Boundary Violations
Level 1: Gentle Redirect
- Assume ignorance first
- Politely clarify the boundary
- Give chance to course-correct
"Hey, just so you know, [boundary]. No big deal, just wanted to mention it."
Level 2: Firm Restatement
- They've been told once
- Clear statement of the boundary
- Consequence if continued
"I mentioned before that [boundary]. I need you to respect that.
If this continues, I won't be able to continue our conversation."
Level 3: Disengagement
- Boundary repeatedly violated
- No further engagement
- Block if necessary
"This isn't working for me. I wish you well, but I need to step back.
Take care."
Self-Protection Practices
Red Line List
Define in advance what immediately ends conversation:
- Threats
- Coercion attempts
- Identity exposure threats
- Illegal requests
- Severe disrespect
Support Systems
- Trusted person who knows your work
- Documentation of concerning contacts
- Block/report features ready
Energy Management
- Not every boundary violation needs explanation
- "No" is a complete sentence
- Disengaging is always an option